BoNjOuR 2008 !

good bye 2007
i think i've the same kind of script as what i had when reflecting myself on my 27th birthday few months back, if i were to say something how has the year been for me. as i quoted in my last entry of the year yesterday, i have a glance of regret ; on how i went through it and how it had been for me. too much hatred, disappointment, anger, frustration and so on, were painted on the year's canvas and make me nuts to bold the moments that i wanted to proud of.
if i were to look back this year someday, while breathing the life in front of me with somebody that i wanted to share things with, i feel like i wouldn't be able to proudly answer 'what would be the moments that took my breath away - of that year?'.
a lot of things happened. of course, 365 days and each seconds has its own stories, but i am in the idle state of thinking the best right answer for that question. i'm not sure whether i'm really idle to think ones, or it is me that hold myself back to think ones.
confronting the lost of friendship, fatigueness in chasing the dream, juggling between things that i wanted to and things that i need to, betraying my good self, everything...i only can see, think and summarise them in one word 'failure'. it was hurt, and it packed with tonnes of i being too hard on myself?

Happy New Year 2008
perhaps, it could have been better; the way to start my first day of new year; but again i spoiled it with stupid things like a betrayal to my own self, lying and avoiding a brother etc.
i slept early last night, as i was suffering the fatigueness caused by my hectic back-to-back travelling schedule for the past 2 weeks. and i woke up late. i feel myself a bit old now to give a room to be excited about new year, like i used to be for the past few years, even with the sms thing y as the only proof of it. wait...perhaps it was not totally because the growing up thing, but more or less affected by those bad feeling i had about 2007.
the holiday, has been such a breakaway for me. even it was started with wrong thing, it gave me a piece of time at least; to look back and reflect myself on charting my days ahead. i know it is such a cliche to have all those resolution thing, but i'm putting some thoughts on really get rid myself from this idleness.
yes. i really have to. i can't let myself live in the pain of 2007 has painted for me. perhaps, sinatra's 'My Way' should best describe my feeling, my thought at this point of time ( deja-vu...i quoted this song few years back)

And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friends, I'll say it clear;
I'll state my case of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life that's full -
I've travelled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets? I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course -
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill - my share of losing.
But now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way -
Oh no. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way.

For what is a man? What has he got?
If not himself - Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.

Yes, it was my way.
Happy New Year 2008!

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