we talk about life...part 2

my kind of Eid
Alhamdulillah. A month of Ramadhan passed us by, and we are now celebrating the big day.

Before I left for my holiday, I forwarded e-mail to all my plsp friends, wishing them Eid and share few thoughts on why I love Eid celebration so much. It’s the food, the baju raya, the photography session etc. but I just notice my intention to create the raya mood in the mailing list didn’t work as barely got any significant replies that reflect the thing that I want to share among us. May be people still busy with their work, or may be they just not interested on the things I brought up.

But then after looking back at all things that I’ve been doing, I just realized that I have never been able to touch people life. It’s only me who feel that they touched my life, but it’s not me who has touched their life. May be I’m just one the names in the phonebook. Sounds like I’m frustrated? Yes I am, for not able to touch their life, to be a part of their good memories. Whenever this thought came, I feel damned selfish, as it just so obvious makes me looks like want to be given attention. It’s not, and I don’t want question all the good things that I did to them, as it’s not fair, and I’m not asking something in return. The thoughts more or less like a glimpse that bugging my heart like I haven’t done much to make me belong to their hall of fame. Again, am I asking something in return?

Anyway, it’s a good day, a blessing month. I wish all Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin. My words and acts either on my writing or whenever I spoke may be hurt people’s heart and feeling, my humble apology.

I want to share two things that I encountered during this month, something on ‘seeking and giving’ forgiveness. I read Dave Pelzer’s trilogy on his dark childhood for being an abused child, where I came to the point appreciate the beauty of his heart to forgive his mother who her whole life had caused nothing but pain to Dave’s life. Dave is a man of his own, where he crawls from his dark past, to help others like him seeing the world as it is a place that everybody deserves to live in, to breathe in. And then back when I was driving to somewhere, I heard in radio, a speaker from States sharing his experience and advice on the beauty of practicing this, where he once, had himself asking an apology from his own little daughter, because of his bad temper, where she turned to appreciate him as her father more.

It’s all about being honest to yourself, that you are guilty. Silence is no way of a good communication for most of human living on earth. Communicate! Express it in a right way. Forgiving means to let go something that we also don’t want to keep. Do you want to keep the anger, frustration and pain throughout your life? I know it’s easy to say, but at least we can be like Dave, where we hope finally, Insya-Allah, we could have it in our heart.

I did feel the joy of forgiving quite some times, where I felt relief. The entire burden sort of flew away from my shoulders. It could be either me on the wrong side or them, but it must start from somewhere, or somebody.

Friends, I wish you all a happy and joyful celebration. May Allah bless us!

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