part 1 - the dream
i had a strange dream last night and it still hurts myself when i try to recall back the plot of the dream.
i dreamt things that i've been hoping so much at this moment, turned out to be a tragedy for me.
they laughed, they laughed like hell. i felt like i was in Pelzer's nightmare, as i sort of understood that they'd never let me win, even i deserve it.
worst, as i lost, i had nobody around me. i cried. i cried like hell till i woke up this morning. even as i woke up, i felt the tears and i still felt the pain of the lost.
once i told ucop, that i'll never know whether i can survive if i lost this battle again.
i fear. i fear. i fear.

part 2 - the story of survival
i nearly been hit by a van. well..more like a moving steel box who sped like hell at the junction to taman murni perdana this morning. i was on the way to adli's house. i believe, the light was green as i pushed the paddle and i saw the steel box moving fast from my right side. it should be red, but it didn't stop and nearly hit back of my car. i could heard the 'screeeeeeecchh' sound of the steel-box pushing the brake. stupid! you almost cost me my life!
i took me sometimes to realise that i just survive. and i felt myself shaking as i arrived adli's house.

part 3 - i'm still standing
i'm still standing. yes. i'm still standing.

reading: Pelzer's The Privilege of Youth
listen to: Circles by MC
new obsession: my 7610 and Ogawa Tens.

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