like a stone

sekeras kerikil.

friend,how r u doing? hope things good.
just nak share a lil bit experience today.

i had a session with puan raiha this morning regarding the MRP program..yes! my mercury level exceeds the limit and i'm now not allowed to enter the plant. good for me. but my boss now starts having me to do this paperworksthingy. darn!

anyway, during the session etc. we had the GMs from both plants as well as our En.Zul. I don't know dude, but my heart feel like a stone and i could give kind of piss off look whenever hearing all the words from the pgb management. i keep telling myself that they can't be trusted. even some point aku rasa nak menjerit ajer dalam session tuh.whenever i heard the words ' transfer'...'boleh dibawa berbincang'...i felt like laugh out loud ! in fact, bila tengok en.zul ajer, my heart rasa bengkak ajer..and i feellike crying ( damn it! ).

i think it's getting critical for me dude. i'm building sort of concrete wall inside of me and i could be rough. in fact i feel like my attitude now sort of change, i'd rather 'buat' bodo on certain issues, dtg keje lambat and balik cepat.and u know how tough my boss, but i feel like melawan ajer and show the 'hurt' me. i don't care bout my IPC and even my SKG training etc...heh..i sort of having this kind of strange habit lately, as i will spend minutes sitting on the toilet bowl listening to my mp3 during office hours,normally i spot after the cleaners done their job. it's not just that, i could sleep and even mengelamun without doing anything --- for sake of buang masa utk tunggu waktu balik.

being back at home, and weekend probably the best ever thing in my dailylife.

darn. i can't disconnect my past to the present and can't even try to connect it to the future as it should. what am i? mental patient? could be.

i tried to hide things, but mum knows that i'm not happy with my job, and sampai dia pesan ' baca surah alam nasyrah setiap kali solat sunat subuh.minta tenang kan hati..'. but my heart getting tougher...like a stone.

i feel like Dave Pelzer's childhood nightmare like haunting me, but in version of employer - employee.funny, sometimes i feel like having his bit of inner strength - i won't let they win ! but again his fear also with me - they won't let me win!...

heh..once i told myself, i'll be the first one who'll smashed the LTI record of PGB. cruel eh? i hope it's not till i could commit crime or drugs. mintak dijauhkan.

to long eh? sorry dude. just want to share it and try not to be like me.
have a good day. selamat berbuka puasa.

p/s; juz tell me how much i should charge for this session....

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