Berhenti Berharap ( It's My Call ? )

the thought of moving on came across my mind lately, as i'm sort of aware the slim chance stressed by HRM regarding my appeal. i did this before, why would i fear to face it again?
on a thought, i guess my mission with plsp is accomplished as i managed to proof to the big guy there i am a worthy scholar. i'm not a 2nd grade dumb ass.
that what it should've been.
but things changed and i realize now, it's not just about securing a permanent job with petronas.
a friend once told me ' if something worth doing, do it right'
since day-one i stepped my foot in the place where i am right now, i believe i was a changed man. With arms wide open, come what may! i believe i had that enthusiasm. thing didn't went well for me as i was lost in translation. i almost gave up as i felt there was no point to keep fighting. i felt i couldn't survive.
it's been however, the past 10 months, truly an important chapter in my life. i learnt part of the meaning of life. cliche, eh? i gained the strength and spirit to fight and overcome the hurdles, even with tears to make sure all the things i'd been doing were the right things. may be they are the reasons i'm still there. in my low and high, they've been with me, and made things look possible to me.
they, i mean the other 'they' fought, but they didn't fight enough for me. the thought come for the past few days, as i realize i have to sacrifice my dreams. it's too exeggerate to use sacrifice, but i believe i found my passion on what i've been doing. Leaving things behind with regret, does it sound damned right to use 'sacrifice' ?.
I'd never dream to be there, but i feel like i've been in the right place, even i have to fight to survive.
i'm no king to have my dream lives.
i feel like a victim.
i feel like i've been fighting alone for my dream.
i feel alone, as i believe they want things for granted.
it'll be better if i stay for them as they're lacked of manpower.
i'm no king.
berhenti berharap.
i'm writing with a mixed emotion.pardon me for making you lost in my writing.

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